2018 Love                                                                               by DF

 

When she saw him, she knew.

He was beautiful, with golden brown hair that was only a little greasy and bright blue eyes that she was sure stared straight into her soul. He was her starbucks barista, and made her grande extra-hot no-foam triple shot caramel macchiato with such mastery that he only had to remake it twice. If she squinted, he almost – almost – looked just like Ed Sheeran, if Ed Sheeran had brown hair and a completely different face and body. He smiled at her as he passed her the cup, a beautiful smile that she was sure was brushed relatively recently and maybe even flossed. He didn’t even protest when she insisted it was her birthday so she needed it to be free, and that she just had all her ID stolen so she couldn’t prove it. When she looked at her cup and saw that he almost spelled her name correctly, her heart fluttered. To her delight, his number was scrawled underneath her almost-name. She texted him a tasteful “hey ;)” immediately.

She thought about him her whole Uber ride home. She imagined their future together; the matching snapbacks, the courthouse wedding, crying together over student loans. She swooned over the idea of going through his phone while he was asleep and waking him up by throwing 3 year old texts from his ex girlfriend in his face. Maybe, just maybe, they would have a child they couldn’t afford and name it Makaieghleh (pronounced Mackayla).  

Yes, she was sure of it. They would have a mature, serious relationship. 3 months at least. None of this millennial hook-up culture crap.

She made it home and deleted her Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, Match, OkCupid, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Raya, Lavalife, Happn, JDate,  and eHarmony accounts. She didn’t need them anymore. She had found true love. When would her prince text her back? She anxiously binge watched a season of Riverdale on Netflix while she waited.

Finally, at 3:24 in the morning, her rose gold iPhone 6 plus buzzed, making her almost jump out of her charcoal face mask. What had he texted her? Did he want to make her a romantic, candlelit dinner? She didn’t know how to cook, so she hoped he did. Maybe the aquarium? Maybe a romantic weekend getaway at Days Inn? She finally worked up the courage to look down at her phone, and her heart dropped.

“Dtf? Lol”